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Question - Topics: Child related, Counseling, Psychology
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Fontana
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Posted On: 2014-09-13 19:19:15
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What should we do with our Teen that crashed new Car?

Our teen son just started Senior year in High School this year, after much nagging we relented and let him drive himself around, to school, work, etc.. But 1st we put him through driving school. So what do you know 2 freaking weeks after getting his driving license he has crashed the car :(

What is the best punishment that you suggested we administer on him for this crash? Or should we just let it go?
What should a Parent do in such situation?

Answers & Comments: 10
DrJohnSilver
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4 years 5 months ago

What should we do with our Teen that crashed new Car?-----


It sounds as if you did everything you could to prevent an accident. They do happen. It could have been worse. So you'd need to let him know that. That accidents do happen and we have to deal with the consequences. Some consequences could be: take more driver's training; take the bus to school whether he likes it or not; owes you the money for the cost of the accident to be paid someday when he has a job; contributes to the cost of a replacement car after a suitable period of taking the bus.

Since he doesn't want to ride the bus, it's the best of the consequences. You need to be firm and not let him tell you what to do when you tell him he takes the bus. Letting a teenager boss you around will lead to very negative consequences for them (and you).
kevinthecoach
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4 years 5 months ago

A rather sporty looking car for a first time driver that he crashed!
The statistics are overwhelming in telling us that first time drivers, particularly male first time drivers are accidents waiting to happen.
So, he blew your generosity without intending to and the result is no car, that's how life is, now he has to earn some money if he wants another car and buy it himself. Simple cause and effect, and its tough but its an invaluable lesson in growing up.
drmoosa
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4 years 5 months ago

Nothing you could do to stop an accident , may be also yourself would have crashed the same car by accident ,You should thank God your kid survived the crush. Just let it go
npr321
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4 years 5 months ago

Do not hit him or show him you are out of control, but show him to be responsable. Show him that in life for everything that we do there are consecuences. He will have to pay for the car and if he does not have the money because he is too busy studying, he will have to owe it and somehow repay. Also, other privileges that he may have gained he will lose them for a year. Said this we all also have to assume that bad things happen. Hopefully he didnยดt get hurt...
For more info visit http:www.goodpsychologists.com
Fontana
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4 years 5 months ago
Hi Npr,
Thank you for your wise answer. Man People on this site are really thoughtful and helpful! Better than paying $100 per Hour to a counselor :)
So, of course we are not going to hit him. He is too Big for that now :)
With that said, yes we are thinking of taking some privileges away, just cannot think what, since he lives on his phone and it is easier on us all him driving himself to school. But I think what we may try to do is to take the car away for Weekends.
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MarJacOutlets
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4 years 5 months ago

First be thankful he was not seriously injured and let him know this.
The situation should not be ignored. There is a very valuable learning lesson here and needs to addressed.
What was he doing when he wrecked the car?
Was he being purposely careless with his driving at the time?
Was the accident caused because he was driving on wet payment or was he on the cell phone when this happened.
As you can see the punishment needs to fit the cause.
Cell phone, take it away the phone completely for 6 months.
Situations like wet payment, send him back to an advance course in defensive driving.
Showing off for his friends, take the car way from him driving by himself 6mos to 1yr.(whatever you feel is appropriate ) allowing him to only drive when you are in the car with him.
Don't take the car completely away. He can't learn without the experience. A real accident, then the advanced driving classes should be enough. Even as an adult we can have accident
Fontana
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4 years 5 months ago
Hi Mj.
1st, thanks for your thoughtful answer.
2nd, the accident happen when he was pulling into Parking! And as far as he has told us he was not using his Phone which we have told them many times MUST NOT be used when you are driving.
Now as far as the punishment goes, I feel our hands are really tight given that it is much easier on all of us if he does himself to school rather than us doing it. And absolutely he does not want to take the Bus!
Really perplexing issue :(
MarJacOutlets
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4 years 5 months ago
Been there with all my kids. It is much more convenient when they can drive themselves around and run errands for you. However this is NOT about convenience for the parents, but about what he needs to learn from this accident.
Mine hated the bus as well. It seems once they are old enough to drive other means of transportation become unfit. I would still consider a defensive driving course. I agree with NPR321.
MarJacOutlets
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4 years 5 months ago
The picture of the car above appears to be more than a parking accident. He must have been going over 75mph lol
One does have to wonder how so much damage can occur from parking a car. lol
mypower
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4 years 4 months ago
Agree
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